Donkey Kong Country/Transcript
[Scene opens in Mario's office, with Mario sitting at his desk.] Mario: So, how did the frogacham go? By the looks of it, everything went off without a hitch. [Camera pans to see Sonic and Tails holding Luigi's corpse. Sunglasses are covering Luigi's eyes.] Sonic: Oh, yeah, everything went great. And Luigi definitely didn't get murdered by a truck. Right, Luigi? Tails: [Luigi impression] Oh, yeah! Everything went as smooth as mama's pizza, ravioli de teeny! Mario: Oh, I miss her ravoili de teeny. And, her busted gettolies. Anyway, I got an easy job for you this time. Head over to Donkey Kong Country and pick up some TNT barrels. I feel like blowin' up some worlds. [Sonic and Tails exit while carrying Luigi's corpse.] Mario: Wait! [Sonic returns.] Mario: Nickname, please? Sonic: Oh, um, Mario Andretti? Mario: Eh, this joke's run it's course, yeah? Sonic: Yeah, pretty much. Okay, I gotta go. [Sonic leaves. Scene transitions to ''Donkey Kong Country where Sonic and Tails put Luigi's corpse in a barrel.] '''Sonic': Okay. Luigi, don't go anywhere, 'til we get back, all right? [laughs] Tails: Yeah, hilarious, all right. Look, there's the barrels. Let's just get 'em and go. [Sonic and Tails go to where the TNT Barrels and Candy Kong are.] Sonic: Oh-ho! Woof! Hey, uh, we need that TNT, so, if you could just, uh, put this bag over your head, and step aside, that'd be awesome. [Sonic takes out a paper bag and throws it to Candy Kong.] Candy Kong: Oh, you're a cutie pie. I'll move for a kiss… and SEX. Tails: All right, come on, man. Just hurry up and plow her so we can get the hell out of here. Sonic: No way, dude. I may have boned a mutant brain monster, but I am drawing the line at this thing. It's just Donkey Kong in a bikini. Candy Kong: No boom-boom, no "boom-boom". Sonic: Huh-huh. Fine. I'm serious about the paper bag, though. [Mario appears and is very cross. Sonic and Tails back up in horror.] Mario: You're fuckin' dead, Sonic! Sonic: Whew, thank god. I'll honestly take death right about now. Mario: The little froggy that was SUPPOSED to be dead, just hopped into my office, and told me what happened! Sonic: Oh, Frogger? Clearly that was his ghost. Do you know about this? He's a lying ghost frog now that hates Italian dudes. Mario: What about Luigi's mutilated corpse in that barrel? Sonic: Classic Luigi, always nappin' in a barrel. Mario: Ima fuckin' kill you, where you stand, Sonic! YOU'RE FUCKIN' DE—AAAAHHH!!! [Candy Kong punches Mario, making him fall off the cliff.] Sonic: Holy shit! You saved my life! Candy Kong: How about you repay me with some- [Sonic kicks Candy Kong, making her fall off the cliff.] Candy Kong: SEEEEEEX! Sonic: Yeah, still not worth it. [Ending sequence. Scene transitions to ''Donkey Kong Country ''as Mario climbs up the cliff.'']' Mario: Dun-dun-duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun. Mario's still aliiiiive. Category:Transcript pages Category:Season 2